September 26, 2016

A psychic once told me to write down the month of September and circle it because I would be winning something in that month. Every year the month came and went. I always thought well let’s see what happens, maybe this September will be it. And then it would pass and I figured, oh well maybe next year. Never really paying much attention but always being curious to the idea. After all who doesn’t want to win something right?
 
Well today it happened. September 26, 2016. My idea came to me. An idea I knew was inside of me but have never truly known how to pull it from my head. It was generated from a phone conversation and it finally sparked my creative flair. Sure I have had moments and times of that feeling of ecstasy to the brain, that revelation of “this is what I’m supposed to do.” Those moments I like to believe were checkpoints to my soul, to knowing that my idea is in me and it is me. Telling my soul to relax and that it is still there. It’s not lost, it just doesn’t know how to come out yet.
 
Yes, I’ve been writing recently. Mostly lots of forceful writing that then turned into a rush of excitement, that feeling of  “yes, I’ve got it!”
 
I never truly had it.
 
I’ve rediscovered my love for writing and have let it become my medium for expression. And yes I am fully aware that my posts are not grammatically correct and don’t always make sense the first time through. Have you ever had a conversation with me when I am at my all time high of joy, excitement or overall giddiness? You probably wouldn’t have guessed that English is my first language either.
 
Well tonight I found what I was yearning for. And how do I know tonight is the night? Because I can feel it. I feel it in the bottom of my stomach and in the light-headed yet crystal clear mind within me. I feel it running through me and I feel alive. I stepped outside for a quick run, some fresh air and I felt it. My usual view was different. I was fully aware of everything around me, even the colors and the usual smells were different. That is because tonight everything clicked and boy did it click. My idea, my intuition, the reason I am doing what I am doing.  
 
I won and I will be forever grateful. I found my prize and it was in my head this entire time.  It is as simple as that. THANK YOU!
 
What is that you may ask?  
 
It is the answer I have been searching for, the answer I will be able to one day share with all of you. (Stay tuned....please do). 
 
The irony of it all? I already won this month. I won in a way that most won’t be able to understand because for them to understand, it makes them feel too uncomfortable. And as a society we don’t do well when others make us feel uncomfortable.
 
And if you don’t understand or can’t bare to understand this post, that is okay. Because you are the reader not the creator.  And if you’ve made it this far…good for you!
 
Until then, Namaste.